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Georgia, September 2015

Fit for a queen.

Tbilisi, Day 3. 

The textured ochre caves of Vardzia appear as we round the bend, an interesting study in contrasts against the brilliant skies and dark-green hills and the silvery river wending its way through the valley.

The craggy mountain fastness was a stronghold for Queen Tamara and her people; we peer into the royal apartments, the banquet halls, the cellars, the chapel with its painted walls and even the..cistern? aqueduct? and my imagination fills in the rest: shadows in the firelight, spoils of the hunt, clay pots of that famous Georgian wine stowed carefully in the stone hollows.

The view is worth the sweaty climb, of course — every day of this holiday has been an unanticipated, intensive cardio workout.

Standing atop the ledge underneath the church bells, open to the endless heavens, my head could only offer up a We’re in The Eyrie, and these are the Mountains of the Moon observation.

We had lunch right by the river, which called to us so merrily that I and a few others absolutely could not help ourselves, going gingerly down the muddy bank and splashing into the limpid, icy water. Maybe I was a fish in a past life; the water, as it always does, restored my sangfroid.

It was a lovely meal; sunshine, the river’s quiet burble, pleasant conversations, khinkali, and a trio of great shaggy dogs patiently waiting for handouts. One even went so far as to put her nose on my knee, and she was welcome to it.

Back on the road again to Rabati, Galina treated us to videos of Georgian songs and dancing, which I enjoyed along with my bottle of Georgian lemonade.

Georgia, September 2015

The Rabati Fortress had withstood the rise and fall of two empires: Ottoman and Russian. You could wander through a classically symmetrical garden surrounded by turrets and see the distinctive domes of the mosque and the ruins of a madrassa within the same sprawling hilltop citadel, just strange enough to keep the casual visitor a bit off-balance.

The last stop of the day was beautiful, refreshing Borjomi, where a Romanov prince built a grand summer estate around Ekaterina Spring, known even then as a source of extraordinary curative powers.

Naturally we did the tourist thing and went to fill up whatever we had on hand with the spring water. I used my empty lemonade glass bottle — a decision that later put me in a bit of a spot, as you will see.

Verdict: whatever is supposedly good for you tastes terrible.

Strolled around the park (that bracing pine-scented air is amazing and I wished I could’ve bottled that up) with my new friends until it turned dark and we had to drive back to Tbilisi.

Reached the capital at 10 PM.  Any sensible person would head home to pack and get a good night’s rest before flying out, but when did I ever make a sensible decision while on holiday anyway, and right then my impulsive nature was not so subtly shoving me into looking for the famous sulfur bathhouses. Why the hell not?

Sulfur springs, after all, are why Tbilisi exists; tbili means “warm” and the bathhouses are the kind of thing that makes it onto every single top-ten list of places to visit. When in Georgia….

So off I went. Not weird at all to approach Georgians late at night and ask them as politely as possible, Dobryj vecer, can you tell me where the banya is? Spasiba! 
They were all very helpful, and that was how I found myself standing at the doors of Bathhouse No.5. Three centuries old. 
I stepped cautiously inside and walked down to the underground reception, where locals were going about their business and not paying attention to the lone tourist in their midst. Steam, towels, worn stone floors, tea trays on perfunctory benches- I guess when an establishment has been around for three hundred years it can afford not to care about aesthetics. 

Eventually a blond lady showed up and I booked myself an hour in a private room – too late for the public baths, anyway.

I spent maybe ten minutes letting the sulfur water wash over me, and then a smiling granny came in for my 20-lari scrub. Which was very interesting. I felt like a piece of meat on the marble slab, being mercilessly scrubbed with something evil-smelling underneath the orange bulbs that hid nothing.

After being thoroughly scraped clean, I was left alone to stand in the sulfur shower until another knock on the door- Ten minutes, madam! 

Damp, smelling like hell but feeling absolutely heavenly (having one’s  epidermis sloughed off does wonders), I made my way home and promptly fell asleep, utterly content with my glorious day in the great outdoors.

Georgia, September 2015

Bathhouse No. 5


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